THE BEERNT - A FOOL AND HER A**HOLE...

"Dear Ms. Beernt,

Ok, I've got a friend who was with a guy for two years. He treated her like dog shit. Although they'd been dating for months, when his friends asked if she was his girlfriend, he'd say 'No', humiliating her. He never went out of his way for her. She had to plan all their activities. He wasn't there for her when her grandmother died; he expected her to drive if they went on a trip (even though he was out of the way and should have met her at her place) and told her he was going to buy a 1-bedroom condo after she brought up the commitment issue. Finally, he avoided her for about a month, and when she finally confronted him about his assholery, he basically said he didn't want to be with her (DUH), and was treating her like crap so she would get sick of him and end the relationship. Granted, the whole drama was her fault as much as his; she could have cut bait much sooner. I can't tell you how many drunken crying phone calls I had to take from her. I got very sick of it.

So, after at least five months of therapy and dating other guys, Asshole is back, telling her that she's 'the one' and that he didn't know what he had till she was gone. Of course she's back with him; it was all she needed to hear. Am I wrong to be completely cynical about their chances? They're both in their mid 30s and emotionally immature, but I do want my friend to be happy."

Optimistic For No Good Reason

PS - it's 'after at least five months of therapy and MY FRIEND dating other guys...
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Dear Optimistic,

It's a good thing that your friend started therapy, but a shame that she did not learn much. Money not well spent. Sadly, I think this couple has a great chance. As long as she is willing to be a doormat. Asshole came back because he did not have a driver, maid, bank, or a vagina. Your friend has no idea that she is a badly paid whore. Yes - she should be done with this guy, and continue therapy. But she does not want to. Period. So where does this leave you? Don't ever take another phone call from her about this guy again. Drunk, or sober. If you have not already, let her know you think this relationship is imbalanced. Let her know he does not treat her well, and that you wish she wanted more for herself.

Now you are done. Move along - and wish her well. It will be a very sad ending.

Love,
Ms. Beernt